2Bmag online

Related Posts

• The Vanity Issue (Humility Calling)
• 2Bmag and Entre Elles get a Proud Launch at Venus Envy
• Queering the Capital: Danniel Oickle & C.C. Trubiak are Staying Homo

I got my first taste of Danniel Oickle at Capital Pride this past summer, after he and collaborator CC Trubiak posed for Dan Ziemkiewicz’s cover photo on our special Ottawa issue. I found myself instantly relating to him on one specific characteristic: he’s what you could call a modest exhibitionist, a living, breathing contradiction in terms. For his début self-produced album Poison Apples and Other Delicacies, Oickle engaged in what can only be described as emotional blood-letting, unselfconsciously airing his fears and desires in a velvety high baritone, accompanying himself on the piano with stripped-down electro-beats.  The show at SAW became a culmination of the album’s themes, but took some of them much further, both visually and dramatically.

“The three of us wore pants made out of vintage red fox and red rabbit. It was a labour of love, all representative of the concept of God’s transformation through time,” the eloquent songster told me via telephone from his Ottawa home. The show surpassed normal expectations of indie music and performance art, mixing live readings, spoken word, and installation to create what could only be described as a mini-opera on the theme of “Love’s True Nature.” Referencing English Gothic Romanticism, classical Greek mythology, and something like meta-physical (and hyper-physical) sung poetry, Oickle conceived of the show as a thesis about disembodiment and its discontents, and consequently decided he had to make his physical stage presence totally over-the-top. “We had a beef heart in the accompanying exhibit with a crown of thorns on it. Olixondra went to get the beef heart and placed it in tree, representing giving life/ourselves/divinity back to nature,” Oickle mused, as if the use of meat and religious symbolism in a musical performance was something one sees every day. Clearly, “Love’s True Nature” is not something you see every day, (not even if you are lucky enough to see Danniel with his shirt off every now again at the gym or dance club.)

“Sometimes I’m my own worst enemy. I wanted to be a satyr, which meant I had to be bare-chested. For me, just like anyone else, I have body image issues. I don’t look like Marky Mark, (but that body is unbelievable!). The better looking person always gets the attention. The less ‘beautiful’ one has to work harder,” he posits, fully aware of the irony that for many a gay man, the 6’2” strapping blond with the bountiful buttocks and rippling torso conforms quite closely to the male body archetype many of us get exposed to in the media and elsewhere. The dangers of constant self-comparison are all too real for this surprisingly candid artist.

Danniel Oickle (c) Bonne Findley "Love's True Nature"

“I think maybe I impose these things on myself because I am bombarded by the same images and expectations others have. I would never let myself change, a) [because of] my wardrobe and b) because of me and my self esteem. I feel bad about myself when I feel bloated or fat. We do it to ourselves,” he concludes; I shudder with recognition. No matter how intelligent, emotionally evolved, or compassionate we are, the nagging sense of not being “enough” can so easily creap in… I asked him: “Can’t the celebration of the body be about accepting the body you have, or is it always about the struggle?”

“It was kind of about my ownership of that [paradox]. For me to go shirtless on stage as myself was a movement forward for me… With these performances, we’re going to show you that you can be sexy no matter what. At one point, we came out into the audience and fed them fruit,” referring again to a metaphor of self-acceptance and unity with nature: the act of being fed something delicious by a half-man half-animal poet.

By embracing his contradictions, and most of all, his unedited emotions, Danniel Oickle has singled himself out as that strangest of creatures: the exhibitionist, literary, art-obsessed thoughtful homosexual musician. “Be what you are, but be the best that you can be,” he intoned as we prepared to end the entrancing the conversation, which had already explored everything from sexuality, home life, the environment, and body dysmorphia. The accidental military reference aside, (Oickle is married to a soldier), I couldn’t help but think: there are people whose perfectionism is so accepting, whose exhibitionism manages to be so humble, that their words make and heal scars at the same time.

“Corruption of the Flesh” – excerpt, by Danniel Oickle

Giving up freedom for random hate
Judging others for their need to  mate

Bigoted and overflowing with sin
Not true to the nature you are in

Ignorant, you  have lost your way
You won’t even listen to what I say

We used to be one, intertwined, a mesh
But you called my love “The Corruption of Flesh”

www.dannieloickle.com

All photos by Bonnie Findley